Christianity is full of paradoxes that don't make sense to the world. Lose your life, so you can gain it. Deny yourself and be last, so you will be first. Boast in your weakness, so His strength will be made full in you. Throw away earthly treasure, grasp eternity. Love those who hate you.
The biggest paradox yet, that will never make sense to anyone blinded by the world: the Son of God [a King], coming down to earth and dying like a servant.
I figured out why I don't share the gospel enough or why timidity often overcomes me when it comes to speaking out about my faith. I've been trying to "protect and save" my life. How ridiculous, trying to protect something that isn't mine to begin with, trying to protect something not worth protecting like this. Protecting myself from scorn of man, I have been wasting my life. My life means nothing, if I "save" it and live it for myself. It will not be worth anything in the end, and definitely not worthy of eternity. If I hold onto my dear life, I will lose it in the end. However, if I count my life as nothing, let go of my self, give up my life and speak out amidst this society and against my timidity [holding firm to my beliefs], I will gain my life in the end. I want to lose it all for Him, pour my self out, and forget about me. God make the impossible by my own attempts, possible through your Spirit. Grant me strength and courage that I surely do not have yet.